Friday, April 17, 2020

Listening to the Wolf




Hello,
After writing yesterdays post, I wanted to share a painting that I created while accepting the challenges of grief.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love Wolves. I always have. They are my top animal totem, bringing me guidance, living with Nature and being true to myself. This particular Wolf, Taz, was not ordinary and certainly has spoken to me even after she has left the physical world.

To be accepted by her was a gift. She had a terrible start to life but was eventually cared for and received the respect she deserved. Very few could go in her living space, she was not fearful but choosy who she tolerated. I was lucky to meet her list of requirements and even in dreams she wanted me to be near her.

Last week as I was scrolling through pictures of her, one photo flashed a bright painting and I took that as her speaking to me. So I got a canvas and started to paint. This photo created a vision of her leaving the restricted living area and walking to freedom, which she had never known. This feeling of freedom is something that I yet to have felt.

The paint flowed and created colors that were bright and almost intimidating. But her calm look and slow gate showed, to me, that she made it, her freedom at last.

A path was waiting for her...is one waiting for me?

Hope you are all well, stay safe and look for Nature during this uncertain time.

Take care,
Christine











Thursday, April 16, 2020

Healing





Hi,

The last post I wrote was just after I became unemployed and the attempt to wrap my brain around the world's current status. My goal was to take each day at a time and not overthink. Create every day for as long as I could.

Well, as life goes, it's doesn't always go as you plan...

I strive to be a very private person that only shares with my pack/family, but I wanted to share my journey and offer some helpful insight. The very recent loss of our parents, Dad in December and Mom this month, have made me feel empty. I know the circle of life is not new, it repeats and is the way of Nature. So many others before and so many others after...bleah, bleah, bleah.

Well, it doesn't make what you feel any less sad or empty to know the facts. You try to stay busy and it helps until you slow down. It's a cycle that you have to go through. The broken heart, the mind spinning, being angry then sad, all have to take that path of grief and it's so difficult.

I thought if I started to paint a little at a time, it would help, not so much. Then, I wanted to finish 2 or 3 projects at once, yea, that wasn't going to happen either. It was so difficult to balance the emotions and "be normal". Nope, normal was not in the plan, not yet.

The biggest therapy so far, has been to walk and watch the natural world continue to live around me. The other therapy has been music. I am so thankful my favorite band just came out with a new cd. This masterpiece has brought a sense of clarity and guidance to this journey of life. I am forever grateful...

So accepting my emotions instead of pushing them aside has made this process a little easier to handle. I am able to type this because of that. My heart still aches but my mind isn't spinning, as much. Today was the first day in a while that I was able to take a brush and paint with my heart included.


Healing from grief is different for everyone. For me, taking the time to accept the grief, watch nature, and listen to music made this emotional roller coaster ride a reminder it's about living and loving. How lucky am I to have both? Very.

Please stay safe, stay well and watch the Natural world around you.

My next post will be some of my current projects...

Take care,
Christine